Sunday, October 15, 2006
fucking life of me
i like freedom..i wan a freedom life..tats y i choose to fong hei my relation..cz i feel tat more relation + strees for myself...i got a family..but nv feel tat i got a true family..i jz feel tat i got a house..when d time reach..ok is time to back home..thn back home..they nv understand me??always take my cousin sister compare with me..she is diam diam person..im a active gal..i wan to chase my life...my hobbies...i wan to do wat thing tat i like..her family is perfect..she like to stay at home..but im not..i stay at home like alone facing d wall..no body chat with me..at home i can even find my happinese.i choose to go out..always go out go out go out...need go out oso need use car..use car need petrol..need petrol need money...go out oso need eat..d more i go out ..d more poor am i..wat should i do??i noe tats not a reason..im not trying to use my family to be my reason..i noe they oso hard to find money..im not surpost to waste so much money..i wan work..they don gv ..i noe they jz wsan me concentrate in study..but im not study kaki...u cal me read a book..i cant even do tat..they wanted me to study so...i follow thm..nvm..they cal me don work first..if wan money ask thm..but in d end..when i wan money from thm..they said me use too much.n scolded me..im not use to ply around. i use to car..use to eat..somtime i wan buy skool staff oso wan take myself de money..but they gv me de money realy not enouf..no idea..eat i oso not dare to eat much..wat should i do??found a job at morning...6 am need wake up..work until 1 pm..thn go teach dance until 5 pm..thn go home n take care my sister..fetch thm go tuition..do my skool work..slp few hour oly..i oso need...nw..they said me use alot car...n called me..no study no car to use...how bout my work thn??no idea...wana think how to settle again..all day is my fucking day..wtf my life is dis..wtf my family is dis??wat should i do with dis life??i don even noe..nw my grandbab like canot ler..wat should i do somore??i cant do anything for him..im jz fucking hate my life...I HATE MY LIFE...at class i act like so happy ..din concentrate in study..always go shopping..ply around..go dance...like dis i oly forget those thing..but life is like tat honest ..i cant even lie myself ...at nmidnite cant slp ...think back d thing again..cz at home..realy no 1 can chat with me..NO 1!!!last time i got 1 auntie de..nw??no more ler..cz she gone..she leave me oso..left 2 daughter at here oso...who take care??me..i noe my grandmom nowaday so suffer enouf...i got problem i oso not dare to told her,,but her problem jzz life..im not jz life..even myself de heart..my sam si..all..who hear me said??my bf??himself oso got many problem to fan...somore d longer we tgt..d more i found out tat..even how hard i try to tell him..he oso cant understand wat im thinking n wat i wan..but gals noe..tats my student..im so proud tat i got thm..REAL..be with thm..im happy enouf to thorw off all my suufering problem..i jz said 1 word of my problem..they understand dy...cz they r same situation with me..im realy proud..GOD...i realy hou san fu..real...realy realy hou san fu...i need to be strong...but i don no i can tahan til when..i realy don noe...
by:yumiko
Char; 4:09 AM
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